Thinking about all these beautiful things today and how lucky I am to have them in my life.
All is well here, keeping very busy, and some personal life changes happening. It’s all good stuff though.
I hope you are well.
Over the weekend I made some earrings out of pieces of yoga mat for my Trash2Trends project. Here I’ll show you what I did to make them. I used all this stuff you see below:
Before I did anything, I cut some small slivers of yoga mat with my rotary cutter, and I punched one small hole in each piece of mat with small hole puncher thingy so I could loop the yoga mat pieces through the jump rings. It’s also preferable to use flat nose pliers, and pliers that do not have grooves in them, when working with metal. Flat nose pliers give you more security in holding the jump rings and smooth pliers will keep from leaving marks on your metal.
So to make the earrings, first I took a small jump ring and looped it onto the bottom of the ear wire, then closed that jump ring:
Then I took a larger jump ring and added 2 smaller pieces of yoga mat:
I looped that onto the small jump ring that’s attached to the ear wire and closed that jump ring:
Next I looped a longer piece of yoga mat onto a large jump ring…
…and attached that to the jump ring with the 2 smaller pieces of yoga mat. Here I made sure to attach this jump ring so that it fell in-between the other 2 smaller pieces of yoga mat:
and VOILA! yoga mat earrings!
These are very light and swingy, really fun. The only thing I noticed is that they are so lightweight that if I’m not paying attention, I almost lost one in the backyard. (I always test drive what I make). The longer piece of yoga mat kept hitting my neck which, evidently, pushed the earring up and out of my earlobe, so I would recommend adding some of those plastic ear wire backs to keep these on securely.
I do not have a good picture of these on a person and how they look, just yet, so bear with me. I’ll get one soon, I promise. Besides, the show is this weekend, I’ll have SOOOOO many pictures to show you soon enough.
At first I was told it was ADD, and that with some counseling and medication that would help to mitigate the confusion, the disagreements the arguments the distractions, the lack of concentration, the mood swings, the violent outbursts and general laissez-faire that seemed to permeate our life.
But he has been off of meds for over 4 years now and I have not seen any improvements or differences or changes. Counseling for 3 years did not help either. It was met with resistance and disdain and a general feeling that I was out to get him and the counselor and I were ganging up on him so instead of working together, it became a tug of war with a person that I loved and wanted only to help.
My help was not well received, nor was it actually ever asked for, so it could be my mistake there.
My reasoning for continuing to help or find ways to make it easier to live together was 1 – my undying optimism, and 2 – there were some improvements and changes. Baby steps if you will. I even asked what I could do to help our relationship, what was it that made me so bothersome and annoying to him all the time. To my surprise, my answer wasn’t constructive criticism but something I would hear in high school – “well, if you don’t know, I’m not going to tell you”
I stopped asking a long time ago.
The relationship is easy now that he is helping care for his mom. But this, the way it is now, cannot continue. It should not be this difficult to be in a relationship. Every day living should not be tiring, it’s not always easy, but it should not leave me exhausted every day. It should not leave me so depleted of energy that all I want to do is for him to leave on a motorcycle ride for hours so I can get some peace and quiet and maybe take a long nap on the couch.
With him away, at least I know there will be calm in the house. I won’t have to wonder or worry about what might set off the next drama filled afternoon rant of god-only-knows what. (which wasn’t that important anyway)
The weather has changed as well, I am so very grateful, because now it is not so hot and humid and I can breathe once again and I can sit on my back patio and watch the dogs chase lizards and not swelter and end up covered in mosquitos.
I’m still going to nap today though, you bet your ass I am.
Yesterday was not my best day in yoga.
I felt unbalanced, dizzy, was distracted, and not at all focused.
I ended up spending most of the 90 minutes in child’s pose.
I don’t know why I was crying.
My mind raced with all kinds of reasons why I was crying –
– because I feel overwhelmed by life? I’m not at home with puppies, where I’m happy and comfortable? Because the weather is so unbearably hot and humid I can’t breathe? And now maybe a hurricane?
Because finances are tight and I didn’t make thousands at the Bazaar? Because my MIL is dying and my mom is losing her vision? Because I’m not near family, and living my life’s purpose? Or because my car desperately needs an oil change?
Hey, it could be anything.
My dizziness bothered me as this isn’t the first time I have felt really unbalanced in class. So then my mind wanders again – what if I have a brain tumor that’s pressing on that part of my brain that regulates equilibrium? And it’s inoperable? Now what?!
Fer Christ’s sake, I’ve got too much to live for!
Hence: not at all focused
But the crying, the crying part. I tried to focus on that, because that’s really where the issue lies. Whatever the issue(s) is, I really wanted, and needed, to explore that.
But I couldn’t leave class to cry my eyes out, and I really wanted to participate, but my body wasn’t letting me.
Maybe that’s it – frustration.
Frustration that my body wasn’t letting me. Frustration that I can’t do anything for my MIL, but wait for the inevitable to unfold.
Frustration that I’m not near my family to enjoy their company and to help my mom when needed.
Frustration that I don’t feel like I’m living my life’s purpose, and that I can’t breathe in this weather, and that I’m not a stay at home dog mom.
All kidding aside, that would be an awesome job.
Frustration in yoga class is the worst thing I could do. I’m not open and receptive, and I’m fighting against what is. Fighting against what is doesn’t accomplish a damn thing. Frustration against the past – which can’t be undone – and the future – which I can’t really control – does absolutely nothing but cause me more grief.
So I took a deep breath, and rested in child’s pose. The answers will come.
This was a great song helping me be calm and prepare for the show this weekend. These longer songs really help keep me motivated.
This is a perfect song for a rainy lazy Sunday. This was our svasana song during yoga today. It made me want to sleep. I need to put this on loop. And then take a nap.
Enjoy your day, whatever the weather.
This was a good one for me this week. Being an introvert I am into my head a lot, thinking, planning, wondering, even worrying, and that doesn’t always help my mood. So I rest and relax and meditate – a little – and do yoga and read biographies and listen to soothing music and spend time with puppies at the park and have friends over for some good food and we watch movies… all to keep me from thinking too much about what’s going on in my life and in the world and what can be done about it to bring some sanity and semblance of peace and calm to what’s going on.
So when I get carried away, I stop, I breathe, and I think of all I am grateful for; from the serious to the mundane. That’s how I conquer those crazy thoughts. One step at a time like Hillary did.
May you have conquering steps today.
I’ve been making some more of these lately. A friend of mine has completed her yoga teacher training and needed some straps for her students. I’m always glad to oblige, do some repurpose sewing, and help out some yoga peeps.
Good stuff, all around.